Have you ever wondered what it takes to organise a really big event like the Glastonbury Festival or Trooping the Colour? For a small taste of what is required you should get involved with the St. Margarets Fair. Although Jay-Z or Her Majesty are probably not going to put in an appearance, the complexity of the event and the myriad things that have to be attended to are similar – from the most fundamental health, safety, security and insurance issues to the niggling concern that there won’t be enough sticky tape to hold up signs. Whatever it is, big or small, someone, somewhere has to think about it – and then make it happen.

Take the ‘Krazy Kitchen’ sideshow run by the 1st St Margarets Scout Group. On the face of it this is simplicity itself:- enthusiastic fans (exhibit 1) throw wooden balls (exhibit 2) at old crockery (exhibit 3) piled on a table (exhibit 4) However, and maybe surprisingly, Krazy Kitchen calls for the same attention to detail as the Apollo Moon Landings. First – and months before the event – a search is made in every charity shop in the district for unwanted crockery. Once located Transport Section then swings into action to collect aforementioned china and move it to the Scout Store – a top-secret installation somewhere in the Home Counties a.k.a Whitton. Then Health and Safety join the fun by raising the possibility that wooden balls (Exhibit 2) thrown by overly refreshed and excitable young people (Exhibit 1) might be dangerous. They suggest that we surround the Krazy Kitchen Kompound with safety nets and screens. Before retiring to their luxury penthouse in Whitehall they also point out that broken crockery (Exhibit 3) can be sharp and recommend that everyone involves wears safety gloves… apart from the young fans of things flung who make up Exhibit 1. (see prior)

Finally and only after high level discussion about the weather and how far we are from the beer tent the entire Krazy Kitchen Kaboodle – wooden balls, crockery, tables, screens, gloves – is moved by a crack team of transport professionals from the Top Secret Installation to Moormead Park along with all the ancillaries – poles, pegs, mallets, tarpaulins, rubble bags, string, signs, sticky tape, flags and anything else that comes to mind.

Be warned! Light sleepers may be awoken early on Saturday 12th July by distant thumping and muffled cries of pain. That will be the Krazy Kitchen Krew driving their first peg and hitting their first thumb!

It has long been recognised that smashing up china is very therapeutic and a positive boon to mental health. With that thought in mind you should come to the St. Margarets Fair on Saturday 12th July and throw a few exhibit 2’s at exhibit 3’s. Beat the Kredit Krunch before Krazy Kitchen gets privatised!